Perfection

I wasn't even hungry.

I'm posting my progress today, 
because not keeping up with it is allowing me to slip...

Goal for today: No food.

I'll post later tonight to see if I managed.

Thin is forever.

^^^  ^^^  ^^^  ^^^
Update, mid-day:
I had about 100 cals worth of cookies, but aside from that, nothing.

In the past few days I put on 5lbs from binging...by fasting today I lost 3lbs...I think some of it was water weight, but still. It gives me hope. If I can get to 110lbs by tomorrow, I can maintain that until after the holidays, then i'll work HARD to lose the 11lbs.

Down to 112

Shakey, faint, hungry...loving it.

I now know that I can get to 99lbs by the end of the year. 
My New years resolution will be to maintain that weight.

My need to be thin? Sakura-Con 2008. Cosplay:



This year i'm doing J-rock, so if i'm not thin,
I'm not going.

Quod me nutruit,
Me destruit.

mark the ones that apply to you
I AM -
[X] anorexic
[X] Ednos
[] bulimic
[] living off diet pills
[] hungry
[X] thirsty
[] drinking something
[] under 100lbs
[X] starving yourself
[X] participating in a fast with other people(willing to go on another)

PEOPLE -
[X] ask if i'm anorexic/bulimic
[] call me fat
[X] say i'm too skinny
[] say i'm ugly
[X] say i'm pretty
[] spread rumors about me
[X] force me to eat
[] say i eat too much
[] wish i'd stop
[X] don't know i'm ana/mia

I WISH -
[X] i was THIN
[X] i had a better body
[X] i didn't have to eat
[X] i could control myself
[X] i was under 120lbs
[X] i could avoid food
[X] i could hide what i am
[X] i wasnt fat
[X] i was pretty
[ ] i could stop

I LOVE -
[X] feeling hungry
[X] seeing a difference when fasting
[X] shaking
[] being weak, becuase i know i'm losing weight
[X] losing weight
[] being ana/mia
[X] green tea
[] diet pills
[X] being able to turn down food
[X] feeling good about myself

Day one of my first fast is officially over in 45minutes!

I feel...so in control. I'm not hungry at all! 
Now that I know I have the willpower, i'm going to try and fast as long as possible. 
If I absolutely cannot get out of eating with people, oh well...
I'll eat small portions around them and not eat anything else...
So it'll be a partial fast at least. 

Damn...the weekend is comming up. 
I always gain on weekends...hopefully i'll maintain my fast through it though!

Here's to hoping I break my stagnant weight, 
110 by next week please.
::wishes self luck::

Hunger hurts,
But starving works.
Thin is forever.

{eDIT]
Today's weight: 113.5 lbs.

YES! This is the end of my plateau, and it marks a day of hope.

My new goal: No more "fasting". I will, from this day forth, not eat. If I cannot get out of it, I will eat the occasional meal...but apart from passing out, I will not eat a bite until I reach 99 lbs.

Eating is a momentary pleasure,
Followed immediately by self loathing,
Leading inexorably to starvation,
Causing hunger and a feeling so good,
No food could ever compare.
Starve on.

Screw this! I've been plateauing at 115lbs for days! I just don't get it...I think I need to shock my system and fast for a few days...I'm thinking a one day fast, starting right now, and lasting until tomorrow this time. Wish me luck! >.<

EDIT:
So far so good! I'm on hour 7 of my first fast...ever! In about 3/4 hours i'm going to bed, then i'll wake up at 6, and my fast will officially be over.

I...feel amazing right now. I'm not even hungry! I'm going to try for a two day fast now...I'm going to school tomorrow, so that's no breakfast/lunch right there...then i'm going to a cookie decorating party, so I can say I ate dinner there...Then Saturday i'm volunteering in the morning, so no breakfast...and in the afternoon i'm going to a gingerbread-house party. So I can say I ate lunch there too! And depending how long it goes I can skip dinner too maybe...

Wow, a three day fast! My lucky week. If I play my cards right, i'll even get to go to Uwajimaya on Sunday, making it a good week all around.

99lbs...here I come!

So, back to school, and I havn't eaten a bite since yesterday! I'm back down to 115lbs and i'm excited as all hell! Hopefully by this Friday I'll be at 110, first goal weight! ::ish excited::

For dinner, if my mom makes me eat, i'll have a small sandwich...if not, I'll have nothing ^.^

I've realised that I have not been able to fast at all yet...which is why i'm losing weight so slowly...but restricting under 400cals a day is working so far, so i'm gonna continue that. I think if I'm slow and patient about it I won't crack and binge, ruining all my work.

99lbs here I come!

Edit:
I've realised that in losing 5lbs...I havn't noticed much of a change in my body...Hopefully losing the full 21lbs will make a difference! If not, I'm going for 90lbs >.< Which is actually the weight of my STICK friend who is an inch taller than me, so that should be perfect! ^.^ But if my mom starts noticing i'll just have to hold steady at 99lbs until i'm 18...1 1/2 years! >.< Oh well, I can live with myself at 99...for a while.

My new goal: Get skinny enough that my legs look good. I want to wear a bikini damnit! >.< My waist is almost fine...but my legs need to lose 15lbs worth of fat desperately!

So I havn't done well this weekend...I spent both days at a friends house and couldn't avoid meals...

Oh well, weekdays aren't that bad...so i'm shooting for 110lbs by this Friday.

I hope I make it! >.<

I'm down another lb!

Sadly, I can seem to fast all day until I get home...then I eat. Good news is, i've only eaten about 400-500cals, so I should be good...Not eating again tomorrow morning, i'll see what I can do to get out of lunch...Dinner will be a TV dinner which I can throw away...

Here's to hoping my 1lb/day keeps up! It's slow going, but i'm 5 lbs lighter than I was on Monday and I am BEYOND excited! I'm hoping by Monday i'll have reached my new LW!

Ugh...I didn't eat anything today until I cracked at 4PM. I snacked at my house, then had to eat dinner at a friends. I also snacked when I came home from Japanese, and I feel gross...

On the plus side: I LOST TWO LBS SINCE YESTERDAY! I am beyond excited. Tomorrow, I know i'll have gained back at least one from tonights food-ness, but I'm determined now not to eat anything until dinner tomorrow, which will be half of a 300cal TV dinner. I'm so happy to be seeing results again...now, in about a week i'll be at a new low-weight. Then it's just another week or so until the magic 99! ^.^ I'm soooooooooo happy, even though I feel full. It would be the best Christmas present ever to reach my goal weight!

Food Trash:

100cal non-fat yoghurt
120cal icecream >.<
1/2 sandwich 300cals (being negative here)
90cal apple
50cal yoghurt

Total: 660 cals >.< EEEEEEEEEEEEW!

Goal for tomorrow: Willpower! I will go down another two lbs! I will not crumble! I have removed most temptations and will not fail again!

Snow day again...

Food Trash:
1/2 cup orange juice
1 apple
1 cup corn
20cals worth of whipped cream with 5 cals worth of jello

The whipped cream made me feel disgusting so i'm gonna fast until dinner tomorrow, and then only eat something small.

GOOD NEWS! I'm down two lbs! At this rate, another week and i'll be at 110.

Question:
What is your favorite Ana "trick"?
This can be something you do to trick others, or yourself.

Personally, I live with my parents, so the "dirty dishes" trick is my savior.

I think, starting today, I'll make little posts for me and all my Ana buddies to chat through...hopfully we'll keep eachother afloat that way.

Todays post:

My perfect goal: 99lbs
My realistic goal: 110lbs by December 15th

Benchmark awards:
115lbs - $20 gift to self
110lbs - Extensions, bleach hair
99lbs - Dye hair

I will achieve these goals!

Feel free to post your goals, responses, or encouragement in reply.

This is my ana journal to keep me motivated.

Don't like, too bad.

P.S. All icons were sent by friends, if they are yours, tell me and i'll credit <3